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Tell a joke!

+9
caoireann
CripKilla
Marnex
Thomandy
MLundegaard
Pianokid220
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goodell
Admin Andrew
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Tell a joke! - Page 2 Empty Will this joke Translate?

Post by caoireann Fri Apr 03, 2009 7:19 pm

A fella lands himself in prison...On his first day inside, he's down in the mess hall having lunch. All of a sudden, one of the inmates stands up and shouts out "42". Everyone sitting around erupts laughing. Another guy stands up and shouts "118". Once again the crowd explodes with laughter. The prisoner turns to the guy beside him and asks what the deal is. The guy replies "We've all been here so long, we know all the jokes, so we've numbered them". So the new prisoner decides to try this out. He stands up and shouts "98". There's complete silence. He turns to the chap beside him and says "Is 98 not funny?" To which he replies "Nah, it's not that,It's the way you tell it"

One of my favourites;) Very Irish!
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Post by VictorCS Fri Apr 03, 2009 7:35 pm

It's all about how you tell it, or in these cases, read it lol!
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Post by Admin Andrew Fri Apr 03, 2009 9:06 pm

I found this joke to be quite funny Very Happy

Money Talks!
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:

"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out."

He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal."

The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."
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Post by Admin Andrew Fri Apr 03, 2009 9:09 pm

and yet one more joke Smile I just had to add this one.



Goodbye To Mother
A couple were going out for the evening. They'd got ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc.

The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out.

The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab -"Sorry I took so long" he says, "Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"
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Post by Thomandy Fri Apr 03, 2009 9:41 pm

Admin Andrew wrote:and yet one more joke Smile I just had to add this one.



Goodbye To Mother
A couple were going out for the evening. They'd got ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc.

The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out.

The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab -"Sorry I took so long" he says, "Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"

Hehe, good one Smile
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Post by Marnex Sat Apr 04, 2009 7:10 am

Admin Andrew wrote:and yet one more joke Smile I just had to add this one.



Goodbye To Mother
A couple were going out for the evening. They'd got ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc.

The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out.

The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab -"Sorry I took so long" he says, "Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"

This made my day! lol!
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Post by caoireann Mon Apr 06, 2009 1:25 pm

A fella walks into a barbers and says " Can you shave a bald spot on the back of my head, cut a zig zag into my fringe and shave one of my sideburns off" to which barber replies "I'm not sure I can do that sir". The man responds " Should be no problem to you, that's what you did to me a few weeks back" Very Happy


Last edited by caoireann on Mon Apr 06, 2009 1:26 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : typo)
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Post by CripKilla Mon Apr 06, 2009 10:25 pm

Computer games dont affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, wed all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.
Nintendo, 1989
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Post by Marnex Tue Apr 07, 2009 4:43 am

^ Haha that was pretty funny.
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Post by pianohama Tue Apr 07, 2009 4:32 pm

What did the five fingers say to the face?

SLAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(usually accompanied by slapping the guy you just told it to in the face)
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Post by goodell Tue Apr 07, 2009 5:18 pm

pianohama wrote:What did the five fingers say to the face?

SLAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(usually accompanied by slapping the guy you just told it to in the face)

I saw that episode 2 days ago, couldn't stop laughing Laughing
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Post by Admin Andrew Tue Apr 07, 2009 5:49 pm

LOL!!!!!!!!! Man, I want to try that now, but I can't think of any friends I want to ruin my friendship with...hmmm
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Post by pianohama Wed Apr 08, 2009 4:33 pm

goodell wrote:
pianohama wrote:What did the five fingers say to the face?

SLAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(usually accompanied by slapping the guy you just told it to in the face)

I saw that episode 2 days ago, couldn't stop laughing Laughing


lol Very Happy dave chapelle is the king Wink
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Post by Marnex Wed Apr 08, 2009 9:41 pm

Lol yeah!
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Post by surehit123 Fri Apr 17, 2009 3:17 am

What do you get when you crossbreed a Bulldog and a Shitzu.





- Nothing but BULLSH*T!
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Post by Admin Andrew Fri Apr 17, 2009 7:43 pm

Smile funny, but try to keep it clean incase there's kid on here XD
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Post by Thomandy Fri Apr 17, 2009 8:00 pm

Admin Andrew wrote:Smile funny, but try to keep it clean incase there's kid on here XD

I guess the word Sh*t is looked at differently here in Canada as well as Usa?
Cause in Norway we got/had a candybag that had the (translated) name: SHI*TCANDY consisting of some nice candy things.. Directed to children Smile We are perhaps more liberal here Smile
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Post by Admin Andrew Fri Apr 17, 2009 8:24 pm

LOL! really? wow that's funny!
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Post by surehit123 Sat Apr 18, 2009 3:14 am

Thx, for editing it.
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Post by Biko Thu Apr 30, 2009 5:03 pm

A dog, a priest and Dracula walk into a bar, and the Nun says-

Oh wait, I cant say that one!
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Post by MysteriousGgirl Mon May 04, 2009 1:28 pm

I was wondering .. !
two tons of metal and two tons of feather..
which one is the the heaviest ??
Exclamation Question
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Post by pianohama Mon May 04, 2009 6:22 pm

MysteriousGgirl wrote:I was wondering .. !
two tons of metal and two tons of feather..
which one is the the heaviest ??
Exclamation Question

well, i know the joke is that their both two tons and its exactly the same,

but in my fysics class we've talked about this and actually two tons of metal would be heavier because of its density, plus because of the air trapped between the feathers it would make it ligher. So my answer is this: They weigh the same, but metal is heavier, this can easily be demonstrated by dropping both into water, the metal would drop to the ground be the feathers would float.Smile
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Post by MysteriousGgirl Mon May 04, 2009 7:14 pm

as i know its the same i dont know the details Exclamation
but its a logic answer..
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